Santa Rampage

holy shit, it's here. Santacon 09 in the ATX.
meet us as the Dock and Doug Pub by noon thirty-ish.
if you miss that, plan on catching us at Mother Egan's around 7pm.
failing that, there is this twitter thing, but we urge caution, as Santas finger's are a little sticky when it comes to twat.
http://twitter.com/AustinSantarchy

Click here to download the Book of Scarols:

bring CASH.
drink water.
eat food.
be merry.
*hic* and other stuff...

Santa's Q&A list:

"Why are you all dressed up like Santa?"
- "It's CHRIIIISTMAAAAS. We're SAAAANTA." said kinda slowly with lots of emphasis like the person to whom you're talking is mildly retarded.
- Why aren't you?
- Didn't you get the memo?
- Because our gorilla suits are in the laundry.
- Or, if we happen to be at a market, "Well, we came all this way for some oranges... we have terrible produce up at the north pole and all the elves have scurvy."
- I decided to leave my Salvation Army job and join a gang
- I have a Santa fetish.
- What? Who? (Turn around, act surprised to see a bunch of Santas) - Oh, shit!
- I'm only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa.
- To mollify a deep-seated neurosis.
- This is a pick-up location for day labor Santas.
- We're undercover. I'd leave the area if I were you.
- I don't know who these impostors are but they're following me everywhere.
- I hope I'm not the first to tell you this, but you know Santa Claus isn't real, right?
- What Santas? I don't see anyone else dressed like this. You must be hallucinating. Better knock off the cough medicine.
- I don't know about those guys, but this is what I always wear on my days off. I just figured it got trendy.
- The nuclear plant up at the North Pole had a melt down and caused some weird mutations. We just woke up one morning and were all there. It was pretty freaky.

"Am I to understand that SANTA is responsible for this mayhem?"
- Yes, officer. Wait, you said SANTA and not SATAN, right?

"Why are there 300 of you?"
- Well, why is there only one of you?

"What is this?"
- Apparently, there is this guy that lives at the North Pole who likes to give out gifts one day a year. We just thought it would be fun to dress like him and run amuck in this fair city. A bunch of drunk Santas. What's it look like to you?

BUY SANTA A DRINK

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